Sunday - 4/1

3AM

SITE RE-LAUNCH DEDICATED TO SPARTAN STYLE COMBAT BODY WEIGHT TRAINING


We paid for the safe passage of an old overweight Bulgarian woman to live and train with us here at Château Radd. You will soon learn why. For today we launch into our new bodyweight training program. Sit back and learn from Bob and I.

Movement #1 - We stuffed Mariya into our large, strap equipped leather satchel. We then took turns carrying her "fireman" style to the majestic Dunmore Football Arena. We ran 70 laps up and down the seating abyss. Her foreign cries for help went un-noticed in our sleepy hallow. The dialect of pure rage is universal though. Evidently she wanted to perform some manner of punishment to our nether regions.

Movement #2 - Burpees - Sets of 2,000, with Mariya on our gleaming shoulders. Heaving her to and fro between sets.

Movement #3 - Hindu Squats - Sets of 5,000, for some strange reason Mariya has gone silent. We take this as a signal that she has become at one with our combat conditioning fitness goals, and her old European traits of honor and duty have now bound her to help us.

Movement #4 - Hindu Pushups - Sets of 500, with our bagged, dedicated teammate and trainer on our backs.

Movement #5 - Thick Navy Seal style rope climbing, with the unflinching, quietly dignified Mariya strapped to our backs. Bob and I would race to the top of our well equipped gymnasium, and lob our trusty, bagged partner to the loser of our impomptu heats.

Truly a mind blowing epic workout! But there is a sad bit of news to report on. The dinosaur workout proved too much for our brave, unflinching Mariya. She is no longer with us. We have just shipped her off to the esteemed Dr. Joshua Perper, Broward County Medical Examiner. If he can bury the cause of death for the talented Ms. Anna Nicole Smith, aged Mariya should pose no problem for him. ;)


Carry On!